Saturday, March 14, 2009

Airplanes, Xenophobes and Jail Cells

Ok. This is NOT starting off well. First, I found out that you have to BUY A TICKET before the let you on the plane! And those tickets cost HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS. Where do they expect me to get that kind of money? Really? I mean, I’m a DOG! I always thought that money was a people sort of thing, but it turns out that people control all of the airplanes and they want money if before they let you get on them!

I was able to find an ATM and access one of my Swiss bank accounts, but then I found out that they only sell ticket to people.  I told the ticket agent that her refusal to sell me a ticket was xenophobic and discriminatory.  She looked at me with a confused look (sort of like the look Minion #1 (@tipperthedog) gives me when I try to explain things such as how to tell time or the basic principles of economics to her).  Anyway, at this point, the ticket agent just said that it was a RULE that she couldn’t sell tickets to dogs and that I would have to take it up with the management.

Well, since I didn’t want to miss my flight and had no desire to speak with the “management” of an organization that would hire such a person anyway, I decided to modify my strategy.  I eventually found a woman who was going to Newark International Airport and who was willing to buy my ticket for me.

The only downside to this was that I had to board the flight in a trap-like device that looked like a miniature jail cell.  As if it wasn’t enough to be treated like a second-class citizen, I had to endure the humiliation of  spending the entire flight in this cage!

Anyway…the next task is to procure a ticket to Paris!!


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