Friday, March 13, 2009

Beware the Ides of March

I really have no idea why I should beware of the "ides of March", but I hear the people always saying to beware of them. This saying makes NO SENSE AT ALL to me. I have lived through many March 15s without incident. It's really the 17th that seems to be more dangerous to me. I have always thought that I would understand my people better if I could understand some of their proverbs. I have given up on my local people, but in anticipation of my impending DOMINATION OF FRANCE, I have been researching some French proverbs to help me better understand the French psyche.

"A blind hen can sometimes find her corn."

I take this to mean that the French don't think much of the intelligence of chickens. I agree.

"A churl knows not the work of spurs."

This is really just nonsense and has no meaning as far as I can tell. Minion #1 (@tipperthedog) says that it means that bad people aren't honorable, but I think she is just making that up. I really have no idea what she is saying half the time either.

"A clear conscience is a good pilow."

Honestly, the French have no sense of what makes a good pillow. I prefer my blankie. I hope that they have more than consciences to sleep on in France or this could be a long trip.

"A dog may look at a bishop."

Well...of course...I look at anything or anyone I please. I don't need their permission. They should be asking MY permission (as the emperor).

"After a feast, a man scratches his head."

I have NEVER seen this happen. Perhaps it is a mistranslation of the well known dog proverb, "After an itch, a dog will scratch." Hmmm...hard to tell.

"All cats are alike gray at night."

I don't understand the singling out of cats in this one. Pretty much EVERYTHING is gray at night, right?

"Half figs, half raisins."

Ummm. I don't know what figs or raisins...probably some exotic French word for sleeping or eating. THAT would make sense. I pretty much spend half my time sleeping or eating. Hmmm...maybe these French will not be so bad after all.

Well, this exercise hasn't really gotten be very far in better understanding the French. My next task will be to plot out my itinerary. Stand by for details...

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