Friday, March 6, 2009


This morning as I sat here looking out over my empire. I realized that life is really not ALL about WORLD DOMINATION (mostly, yes, but not completely). Sometimes, it’s about the simple things. For example, I really like barking at people who walk down the sidewalk in front of headquarters. I also like barking at birds, large insects (ENEMIES!), tennis balls, small insects (ENEMIES!), leaves, airplanes, helicopters, running water, OOH, did I say tennis balls? Yes…said that already. Anyway, you get the point. There are a lot of things to bark at and it gives me great pleasure to do so.

tip_and_dex_1Also, as much as I complain about Minion #1 (@tipperthedog), she really isn’t all that bad. Sometimes it’s actually quite nice to have her around. For example, periodically, I get something sticky on my ear or somewhere else that I can’t reach with my own tongue. She will always get it for me. She also guards my food bowl to help ensure that the cat won’t get to it. (A bit overzealously at times…occasionally preventing ME from getting to it.) And she even puts herself at risk while trying to protect me by making sure that she tastes all of my food before I eat to make sure that it’s safe. THAT’S dedication!Yes, it is true that she doesn’t really share my love of barking at things and she has no real desire or understanding of our quest for TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION, but she does have other qualities that make it really not too terrible to have her around.

I realize that I am rambling a bit, but the point is that WORLD DOMINATION is meaningless unless it also provides each of us with some positive outcome as well. For example, I will have more things to bark at. Minion #1 (@tipperthedog) will have more things to lick. The Primary Parrot (@rudytheparrot) will get assistance with controlling his nemesis (THE CAT WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED). Cat #1 (@pennycat) will get…well…I’m sure that there are things that she will appreciate in our new world order too.

So, I’d like to hear from all of the loyal citizens of the empire. What are the things that will give you the most pleasure once we achieve TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION? Leave a comment below, e-mail me at or tag it with #dextersempire on twitter.

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